I Really hope no one i know ever goes to this hospital 🙂
Actual writings in Mpumalanga Hospital Register
· Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
· 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
· 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
· 4. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only 11kgs weight gain in the past three days.
· She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
· Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
· On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
· The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
· The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
· Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
· Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
· Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
· She is numb from her toes down.
· While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
· The skin was moist and dry.
· Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
· Patient was alert and unresponsive.
· Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
· She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
· I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
· Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
· The patient refused autopsy.
· The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
· Skin: somewhat pale but present.
· Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
· Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities